Today started off with a rush of sadness and tears. I was upset. Heartbroken. I cried... I sought counsel. What didn't I do? I didn't pray. I have others praying for me. But - did I turn to the only One that can fix all of this? Nope. I decided to cry and be sad and play in the darkness. This is a very dangerous habit to have. I'm hoping that in the future I can be more aware of how this type of situation should really be handled. Because - in all reality... no one has true control over my emotions. Just because someone treats me a certain way doesn't mean I should react like I do. Yes, I'm emotional. Yes, my heart is usually exposed at all times. But - that is no one's fault but mine. So - I'm gonna work on it. Ha. I feel like I'm always coming to this conclusion. Maybe one day it will stick.
On a brighter note: I've had some improvement in another area that was going down hill fast. It's an unexpected but welcomed improvement. I love when the Lord literally says, "Hey! I got this. Trust me, okay?". It just reminds me of how undeserving I am. How imperfect I am. How flawed all my relationships are. But - God is good and He is faithful. He's in control. HE'S AMAZING. And - I'm so thankful that even though I may be messing things up constantly...He's working. He's moving. He's there. He's always there and I am so very thankful that He is.
Things are looking up.
Head held high,
James
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