Lies. I can't stop them from running through my head. Lies. You're unwanted. You aren't loved. You are incapable of doing anything right. You suck at life and relationships. You, my friend, are a failure. I know these things aren't true. But - the thoughts are there today. And - they won't stop. And - I can't shake the sadness that comes with them. I feel defeated. Darkness. I hate it. But - that's what I'm feeling today. I want it to go away. Now. But - it won't. It's there. Wanting me to cry. Wanting me to be upset. Wanting me to believe the lies. So - I cry. I'm upset. I'm sad. And - feeling defeated. But - I know that these things aren't true. I know I'm a child of the King. I know I'm loved. I know I'm loving. I know I'm not a failure. I know that I'm not defeated. I know all of these things. But - for some reason...I still feel this way. I don't know. I thought today would be a new day. I was wrong. I was very wrong. But - I have hope that a new day will come. I believe this sadness won't last. I know that my Jesus can pull me out of this. He can mend whatever is broken; He can heal this heart of mine. So - I wait eagerly. I wait. And - in the mean time...I choose not to believe the lies I hear no matter how much pain they bring.
