Birthday Week Has Begun...

My birthday week began yesterday.  It was a typical Monday.  I went to work and instead of going out for lunch I just stayed at the office.  But - I knew something was up when Caroline got back from lunch and said, "Jamie!  I didn't see your car earlier.  You must've gone out or something before I left."  I said, "No.  I haven't left the office."  She looked at me and smiled.  "Oh.  So - you haven't seen it?!", she exclaimed.  At this point I was super nervous.  My first thought was that someone had hit my car.  Then I realized that Caroline was smiling and starting to laugh.  I said, "Is my car decorated?"  Her reply was, "Hahahaha.  Oh!  Yes, it is!  You have to go see it right now!"  On my way out I saw another co-worker and asked her if it was that way when they went out for lunch.  She said, "Oh, yeah.  There's stuff everywhere.  You haven't seen it yet?!"  I informed her that I hadn't and then ran downstairs.  I was sure to have my phone and camera ready.  This is what I found when I walked outside:

This made me laugh so hard.  Especially the windshield.  In my mind there were only 2 people that could've done this.  Doe and Erin.  So - once I got back inside I texted them immediately.  But - they denied it.  So, then I began to think about who else could've done it...then Erin confessed...and then so did Doe.  Hahaha.  But - they couldn't have kept it a secret for long.  Because another co-worker walked into my office during the texting and asked if I had seen my car.  I laughed and told her I had.  Then she showed me this:

Hahahaha.  They were caught in action.  Love, love, love it!!!  I love my friends.  These two made my day.  They made me feel so special.  It made my Monday just perfect.  Hopefully the rest of the week will be just as happy and fun!!  Yay for birthdays (especially mine!)!!  Hahahaha.  :o)

Oh!  I laughed the entire way home.  People were staring at me.  I even saw a friend once I got in Moody and he got in front of me and slowed way down.  I thought this was strange but it didn't bother me.  He finally called and said, "Will you pass me already so I can see your car?!  Good grief!".  Hahaha.  And - this morning I went to Chick-Fil-A for breakfast and everyone was laughing and telling me "Happy Birthday!".  My car is definitely turning a few heads.  ;o)

Sunshine.

So - I'm currently decorating my office.  I'm basically taking positive things (scripture, quotes, etc.) and putting them on my walls around me.  I want to be surrounded by postive things.  I am tired of the negative.  And - I've come to realize when you're surrounded by negative things...you yourself become very negative as well.  I don't want to be this way.  I don't want to be irritable.  I don't want my blood pressure to be high.  I don't want my chest to feel tight.  I want this ridiculous stress to disappear.  So - I'm seeking the Lord and I'm surrounding myself with positive things.  Now, don't hear me wrong.  I'm not expecting this to fix everything and for the negativity to disappear.  I just want to be active in seeking not only the Truth but looking for the positive in all things.  I want to be a "glass half full" kind of girl.  I'm hoping it will make a difference.  I want to bring sunshine every where I go.  I have Christ in me...so I know this is possible.  He is the light of the world.  He is our Hope and our Salvation.  He is our Helper, our Keeper.  He is all that we need.  All that we need.  He is more than enough.

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.

~ Anthony J. D’Angelo

No More Negative Nancy!!

My negative Nancy attitude is taking a vacation.  Hopefully a permanent one.  :o)  Things are going to be okay.  My God is in control.  He's stable.  He's able.  He is more than enough.  Letting go isn't necessarily a bad thing it's just different.  Change isn't always bad either.  Change is most definitely welcome here.  I have a feeling a lot is going to change in the next few months.  Yeah.  It's going to be awesome.  Bring.  It.  On.

I'll wait...

Life is hard.  Friendships are super difficult sometimes.  But - it's all worth it.  Because most of the time... the good outweighs the bad.  And - even if it didn't... it would still be worth it.  Why?  Because - the good times are SO GOOD.  Great even.  So I'll wait for the good even if it's seldom because the good is worth every second.  Every time.  Always.


Love Came Down


When I call on Your name Your answer.
When I fall You are there by my side.
You delivered me out of the darkness.
Now I stand in the hope of new life.


Yeah, stand in the hope of new life with You.


By grace I'm free.
You rescued me.
All I am is Yours.


I've found a Love greater than life itself.
I've found a hope stronger and nothing compares.
I once was lost now I'm alive in You.
I'm alive in You.  Thank you, Lord.
I'm alive in You.


You're my God and my firm foundation.
It is You whom I'll trust at all times.
I give glory and praise adoration.
To my Savior who's seated on high.


I've found a Love greater than life itself.

I've found a hope stronger and nothing compares.
I once was lost now I'm alive in You.
I'm alive in You. Thank you, Lord.
I'm alive in You.


I've found a Love greater than life itself.
I've found a Hope stronger and nothing compares.
I once was lost now I'm alive in You.
Thank You, Jesus!  Thank You, Jesus!

Birthday Celebration #1

Well - last night I got together with some really awesome friends of mine to celebrate my birthday.  It was an early celebration.  My friend, Bradley, is moving out of state soon and probably won't be here for my birthday.  Plus - everyone was kind of busy around that time.  So we decided to celebrate early.  I was totally okay with that idea.  Ha.  What was on the menu?  Wings.  Grilled wings.  Omg.  They were the best wings I've ever had.  PJ came over early and made the sauces.  He had 3 versions.  Mild, medium, and hot.  The base was the same for all 3 the medium and hot just had different additives to make them more spicy.  Let me just say:  We could open a wings joint and make a ton of money.  They had kick but didn't tear you up.  And - the flavor was awesome.  The grill made them taste AMAZING.  I wish you could get wings off a grill at restaurants.  Man.  That charcoal flavor just added so much.  Once those were done we ate and talked and just hung out for a while.  It was nice.  We were all exhausted and so full.  So - we basically just sat around most of the night.  I love those people.  I've known most of them for at least 7 years...some longer than that.  It's nice to see that friendships really do last that long.  Those people have been there for me through the good and through the bad.  I hope I've done my job and been there for them too.  It was an awesome night...with awesome people.  My Saturday was absolutely perfect.

Women's Breakfast.

This morning I was able to have breakfast with the women from Branch Life Church.  It was an awesome time of fellowship and community.  I love those women dearly.  We're all around the same age-ish.  I'm one of the older ones in the crowd but I don't mind that at all.  It's just nice to have a group of women that are my age and most of them are still single.  Some are married of course, but only a few have children.  I just feel like we're all living life together.  We're right there... worrying about the same things... and just trying to live a life that is wrapped up in Jesus Christ.  I fail.  Everyday.  But - it's nice to hear that others struggle with the same things I do.  And - that's kind of what this was all about.  Accountability.  We want to be there for one another.  We want to be more intentional with each other.  So - we've decided to probably start meeting once a month and that makes me so happy!  We'll do something different each time but I think that's what makes it interesting!  I can't wait to walk and grow and get to know these women better.  It was a perfect way to start my Saturday.  It has definitely made my heart smile.

I hope that's enough...

I feel like my guard is always up.  Has been for at least the last year.  I'm easily offended and fast to defend my friends or actions.  It shouldn't be like that.  I can't wait for everything to be semi-normal again.  No more defending my friendships.  No more defending my decisions.  No more.  I just want it to be done.  Friendships shouldn't be as hard as they seem to be right now.  Going to church shouldn't be as drama filled as it feels right now.  I just feel bombarded all day every day.  And - I'm so tired of it.  I just want to scream at the top of my lungs "GET OVER YOURSELF ALREADY!"  Because - I feel like I'm surrounded by people that have forgotten that this life ISN'T ALL ABOUT THEM.  It's not about me.  It's not about you.  It's about the bringing glory and honor to our Savior, Jesus Christ.  Why is that so easily forgotten?  Why is how we feel so much more important than knowing that what we're doing with our lives is honoring Christ?  I mean, I'm guilty of this too.  We all are.  We are a sinful, imperfect people.  But - it's so easy to get so lost in it sometimes.  So lost that you don't even realize you're in it.... until you're in it so deep you can't seem to get out.  And - then there are people that refuse to acknowledge the fact that you have changed.  No matter what you do differently... they still see the old you.  They refuse to see something new.  How do you change that?  How do you make them see you're different?  In reality, there really isn't anything that I can do.  It's going to take Christ to make them see the change.  That's what I'm hoping for.  That's what I'm praying for now.

Lord, show them the areas that I'm different.  And - show me the areas that I need to work on.  Open the eyes of my heart, Lord.  Open the eyes of my heart.  Reveal to me the things that aren't of You.  Show me what You want removed from my life.  Mold me into your image, Father.  Make me new.

I know I'm not perfect.  But - I also know I'm different.  I praise Him for that.  I'm not the person I was last year.  Or - even a few weeks ago.  There will always be areas that need some work because I will never be good enough.  I will never be perfect.  I will never do things the way you or anyone else wants me to.  I can't be what you need me to be.  All I can do is seek Christ and love people.  I hope that's enough.

Ramblings...

I'm the world's worst at starting a book and actually finishing it.  This is a habit that has developed as I got older.  When I was younger...I was glued to whatever book I was reading until I reached that last page.  I read all the time.  It was my means of escape from the craziness I was surrounded by.  Because - even if the book I was reading was crazy it was still better than my reality.  Or - at least that's what I thought at the time.  Nancy Drew was my favorite when I was younger.  I loved those books.  I loved them so much that while I was in Books-a-Million today I bought the first one.  I couldn't resist.  It was only $3 for a hardback.  I had the first 6 in my hands but convinced myself that was ridiculous.  But - I'm sure I'll be purchasing the rest soon.  If I ever have children I want them to enjoy reading as much as I do.  I want them to read BOOKS.  I don't want them reading on a Kindle.  There's just something about holding a book.  The smell, the feel, I love it all.  One day I plan to own all the things I loved as a child.  Movies, games, books, etc.  I need to get them now while I still remember.  I have most of the movies but I'm still lacking a few.  I have hardly no books and no games.  But - I'll work on that.  :o)  I just feel like kids these days are missing out!  Saying that makes me feel so old...but I don't care.  For one...they don't have what we had.  Some might say things have improved.  But - I  miss the old stuff.  Plus, we lived outdoors as children and played inside when it was dark or stormy.  Kids these days just don't do that.  What the heck are their parents thinking?  Stop letting the television and gaming systems raise your children!  Get their butts outside!  Man, I would do things so differently.  But - who knows...maybe I wouldn't.  We live in a lazy society.  It's all about convenience.  Maybe one day that will change but since we make everything about us anyways...I doubt that it will.  Just this week I know I've said twice "I don't know where I'm going for lunch.  I really don't want to get out of the car.  It's so hot!".  Really, Jamie?  Really?  I'm ashamed and embarrassed that I said that.  Laziness.  I'm going to work on that.  But - it is hot.  Hahaha.  I'm so looking forward to the fall.  James Spann said today that some parts of the south will see lows in the 50's next week.  It probably won't last but he said fall is just around the corner.  HEARING THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!!!!  I love the fall.  The colors!!  Oh, the colors!!  Everything will turn red, yellow, or orange for a while and it will be so beautiful!  I can't wait.  And - what comes with the fall???  FOOTBALL SEASON!  Yes.  OMG.  I'm so stinking excited.  College football.  Man.  It will take over my Saturdays once it starts and I'm totally okay with that.  I've recently met a bunch of people who don't watch it....AT ALL.  This is weird to me.  I mean, I know everyone is different but do you realize where we live?!  We live in Alabama.  Football is important here.  But - they don't think so.  Ha.  They could care less.  And - that's okay, I suppose.  I think it's strange.  But - they think we're strange for loving it so much.  :o)  Who knows.  Maybe we are. There's just something about it that gets me excited.  And - no, it's not the tight pants.  Ha.  Hmm...well....  I think I've reached the end of this ramble.  I hope you've enjoyed it.  I know I have.

Until next time...
James

He's kind of cool like that.

This has been an amazing week.  

I went to Bethel on Sunday and Wednesday...and it was really nice to see those people.  I felt loved.  Missed.  Wanted.  It was so nice.  Tuesday's small group was so good.  And - then last night we had a girls' night.  After the girls' night was over Fuqua and I met up with Luke at Al's.  It was nice.  Good conversation.  Just good time spend with good friends.  I love those people.  And - I'm really looking forward to tomorrow!  Women's breakfast at Branch Life and an early birthday party in Moody!!  Woot!!  I am so excited!!  :o)  

So - that's the good.  Those are the hi-lights.  I guess that means I'm about to bring up the "bad".  Ha.  I don't necessarily think it's bad as I do think it's weird and old all at the same time.  

I just feel like some of my friends don't understand me.  Or - try to put old things on me that I feel like don't exist anymore.  Why am I always the girl that is always accused of being in love with someone?  Why can't I just be a friend?  A friend that loves with everything she has.  I mean, I understand how that can be scary but that's not my problem.  Not really.  And - this is the first time this has been brought up that I didn't cry or get upset.  I actually felt no emotion about it whatsoever.  This time...I just felt tired.  Because - I feel like nothing I do is right or good enough.  It really makes me just want to give up on this one.  I don't know if that's the right answer or if that's what it will come to but I think I'm finally in a place where I'm okay with that being an option.  I will be sad, yes.  But - it will not rock my world.  It will not define me.  I will be okay because I serve a Mighty God and He knows what He's doing even when I don't.  Heck, even when I don't like it.  He knows what's best.  And - I trust Him.  I trust Him.  Sometimes that's hard.  Sometimes it's not fun.  Sometimes it's terrifying.  But - it's always worth it.  Always.  So - I'm tired, yes.  But - I'm at peace too.  It's a weird place to be, actually.  Not because it's bad but because  I never thought I'd react this way.  Normally - I'd be crying my eyes out and thinking my whole world was falling apart.  I wouldn't be able to sleep or rest or whatever.  It would literally tear me up inside.  But - not today.  Today is different and I'm so thankful that it is because it shows me that I'm different.  I'm not the same person I was last year, last month, or last week.  God is working in me and I'm so thankful for that.  I'm free.  I'm loved.  I'm saved.  And - that is ALL that matters.  I can't wait to see what the future holds.  It probably won't be anything like I imagine...and I'm totally okay with that!  Because - His plans are way better than anything I could've ever dreamed of.  He's kind of cool like that.  ;o)