He's kind of cool like that.

This has been an amazing week.  

I went to Bethel on Sunday and Wednesday...and it was really nice to see those people.  I felt loved.  Missed.  Wanted.  It was so nice.  Tuesday's small group was so good.  And - then last night we had a girls' night.  After the girls' night was over Fuqua and I met up with Luke at Al's.  It was nice.  Good conversation.  Just good time spend with good friends.  I love those people.  And - I'm really looking forward to tomorrow!  Women's breakfast at Branch Life and an early birthday party in Moody!!  Woot!!  I am so excited!!  :o)  

So - that's the good.  Those are the hi-lights.  I guess that means I'm about to bring up the "bad".  Ha.  I don't necessarily think it's bad as I do think it's weird and old all at the same time.  

I just feel like some of my friends don't understand me.  Or - try to put old things on me that I feel like don't exist anymore.  Why am I always the girl that is always accused of being in love with someone?  Why can't I just be a friend?  A friend that loves with everything she has.  I mean, I understand how that can be scary but that's not my problem.  Not really.  And - this is the first time this has been brought up that I didn't cry or get upset.  I actually felt no emotion about it whatsoever.  This time...I just felt tired.  Because - I feel like nothing I do is right or good enough.  It really makes me just want to give up on this one.  I don't know if that's the right answer or if that's what it will come to but I think I'm finally in a place where I'm okay with that being an option.  I will be sad, yes.  But - it will not rock my world.  It will not define me.  I will be okay because I serve a Mighty God and He knows what He's doing even when I don't.  Heck, even when I don't like it.  He knows what's best.  And - I trust Him.  I trust Him.  Sometimes that's hard.  Sometimes it's not fun.  Sometimes it's terrifying.  But - it's always worth it.  Always.  So - I'm tired, yes.  But - I'm at peace too.  It's a weird place to be, actually.  Not because it's bad but because  I never thought I'd react this way.  Normally - I'd be crying my eyes out and thinking my whole world was falling apart.  I wouldn't be able to sleep or rest or whatever.  It would literally tear me up inside.  But - not today.  Today is different and I'm so thankful that it is because it shows me that I'm different.  I'm not the same person I was last year, last month, or last week.  God is working in me and I'm so thankful for that.  I'm free.  I'm loved.  I'm saved.  And - that is ALL that matters.  I can't wait to see what the future holds.  It probably won't be anything like I imagine...and I'm totally okay with that!  Because - His plans are way better than anything I could've ever dreamed of.  He's kind of cool like that.  ;o)