Choosing to Love...

I'm a Christian.  I consider myself to be a giving, loving person.  But...I think that's conditional for the most part.  I guess that's how most of us are but it shouldn't be that way.  I mean...I'm not loving and giving to EVERYONE.  I love those who are close to me with everything that's in me but when it comes to others I sometimes find myself wondering why it's so hard to just be "nice" to certain people.  I'm called to LOVE...right?!  It's more difficult than it seems.  There are just some people that I literally want to shake or slap in the face!  :o)  I don't mean for that to sound terrible...but you can take it however you like.  What has inspired this exact topic?  Work.  My job is driving me crazy.  I hate it.  I don't want to be there.  I don't want to think about it.  I literally can't stand where I work right now.  Will it get better?  Goodness...I hope so.  How long is that gonna take?  I have no idea.  All I do know is that a job shouldn't be affecting my mood so much.  I wake up happy...for the most part...but as soon as I walk in the door at work my whole demeanor changes.  It's like I'm a totally different person altogether.  People are starting to notice.  My manager asked me today if I wask "okay".  I wanted to say, "What do you think?  Do I look okay?  Is this the Jamie you usually see?!  NO, I'M NOT OKAY.  I hate this place.  I hate that we're short staffed...EVERY SINGLE DAY!  I hate that it seems like you don't care.  I hate everything about being here!!!"  Did I say that?  NO.  Would I?  Probably...if she caught me at a bad time.  What I did say was this:  "No.  I'm just stressed out to the max.  It's terrible.  It's really bad."  She said she understood and she was stressed as well and apologized for it being that way.  Blah, blah, blah.  At least she acknowledged the fact that it was completely crazy.  It made me feel a little better.  Then there's my co-worker.  SHE LITERALLY DRIVES ME CRAZY!  She's the sweetest thing you'll ever meet...and if you needed anything that she was able to give you then she would.  She's selfless.  She's also terrified of getting in trouble and making anyone mad.  Which means she's a brown noser.  She talks to me as soon as I walk in the door and continues throughout the day.  She keeps talking to me even when I'm not responding.  She asks me questions that she could find the answer for herself.  She pretends to be an idiot but she's not.  All of these things...drive me crazy...and make me want to shake her.  For real.  Is that what I should do?  No way!  I should be loving her.  I should be listening to her and responding to her instead of acting like a 5 year old who doesn't want to be where I am and wants to go home.  I know that.  So why don't I do it?  Why don't I love when I know that's what I'm called to do?  Because it's difficult.  Because I don't want to.  Can you imagine me stomping my foot and pitching a fit right now?  That's what I feel like I do on a daily basis.  No...I really don't stomp my foot and pitch a fit but you know what I mean.  It shouldn't be this hard to get along with someone.  I guess everyone has that person or persons that drive them crazy.  I do have a few but really only one at work.  I know I can overcome this struggle to love.  Christ in me can teach me how.  I want Him to show me how.  I don't want to be a person that comes home angry because of her job.  I want to leave work at work.  It's just a job...right?  I don't think a job is ever just a job.  The people there end up becoming your "other family" because you see them 40 hours a week.  That's a lot of time!  So...I've rambled on to say this.  I'm struggling.  I don't want to be miserable anymore.  I want to come to work HAPPY!  I should be thankful that I have a job.  That's a huge blessing!  It could be a lot worse.  That's for sure.  Starting NOW...I'm going to make a huge effort to be nice...to LOVE.  It's what I'm called to do.  It's what I should do.  It's what I want to do.

You are what you eat...

Hmm...that seems to be a true statement.  I'm reading a book my co-worker brought me called "You Are What You Eat:  The Plan That Will Change Your Life".  It's VERY interesting so far.  The doctor that wrote this book isn't a raw foodist but she does talk about the goodness of raw food and that it can be healing to your body.  I was reading this section about tongues and it was SO cool.  Here's what it said:  "The tongue is an important indicator of health so I'd like to start by focusing on it in some detail.  I always think of the tongue being like a window to the organs.  The extreme tip correlates to the heart, the bit slightly behind is the lungs.  The right side shows what the gallbladder is up to and the left side the liver.  The middle indicates the condition of your stomach and spleen, the back the kidneys, intestines, bladder and womb.  A healthy tongue should be smooth, supple and slightly moist.  It should be pale red in color with a very thin, white film.  The most common tongue indicators I look out for are cracks, ravines, coatings, lines, swellings, patches of red and cuts."  If you have a "crack" down the middle of your tongue that indicates that you have a weak stomach and your digestion is not what it should be.  Also, if you have teethmarks around the sides of your tongue that's a sign of nutritional deficiency and more than likely you have a spleen deficiency.  I just thought I had a small mouth and that's why I had teethmarks on my tongue!  That's so crazy that it could be something completely different.  Evidentally my body is trying to tell me something and I just wasn't interested enough to find out what.  I'm just finding everything in this book so very interesting.  It's so weird but so cool at the same time.  My co-worker brought me 4 other books today and I'm really excited about reading those as well.  :o)  She's all about me changing my eating habits.  Not only for the weight loss but because I won't be putting all of these toxins in my body anymore.  Another co-worker brought me a quart sized bag of frozen smoothie that she made.  She makes it in bulk and freezes it all until she's ready for it.  That's such a good idea!  Well...I tried a little and it wasn't terrible at all.  It was more tart than I normally like but it didn't taste bad.  It had romaine lettuce, bananas, pineapple, blueberries, strawberries, and spinach.  You can't taste the lettuce or the spinach at all.  All of the fruit being in there covers that right up.  I know it sounds digusting but you will never believe how it tastes.  I've also found this blog about raw cupcakes.  I think my roommate is gonna try and make some of those as well.  I hope they're good!!!  I'm really excited to start this next week.  I really hope I fall in love with it.  For real.  It would be so amazing if I did.  Either way I have an amazing journey ahead of me.  I can't wait to get started.  A couple of weeks ago I started exercising again.  It had been way too long.  I've only gained like 2 lbs. of my weight back so I'm still down 36 lbs.  I plan on losing at least that 2 lbs. this week...hopefully it will be more than that.  This is going to be amazing.  I'm convinced I will be successful.  I can SO do this.

Raw Food...

I've been issued a challenge.  My roommate has "dared" me to be a raw foodist for a week.  I'm sure you might be wondering what exactly that is.  Well..I would basically be living off raw vegetables, fruit, and nuts.  You can steam you veggies if you want and there are some smoothies that I'll be drinking but NO MEAT.  I can have Ezekiel 4:9 bread products because they've been sprouted.  I wonder if that will even taste good.  Nothing processed.  No dairy.  That last part makes me real sad.  No cheese?!  No cheese for 7 whole days?!  Is that even possible?  Hahaha.  I'm sure it is...and I will not compromise.  I want to know that I can do this.  I'm actually hoping that I fall in love with this "raw food lifestyle" and decide to stick with it.  For real.  They say the results are amazing.  You're happier, healthier, smarter, etc.  I'm very interested to see how this goes.  I start next Wednesday!  :D  I'm sure I'll blog about it daily!  I'm also sure that those blogs will be very entertaining!  I'm super excited to see how it goes!  Woot!!!