Curiosity Sometimes Kills the Cat.

Sometimes I really wish I could jump ahead 10 years just to see if everything worked out.   Am I married? Single?  Am I happy?  I think that last question is the one I worry about most.  I want to be happy more than I want anything else.  More than I want to be married.   More than I want a family.  What's the point if I have all that I've ever dreamed of and I'm not happy.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Marriage.  A family.   Those are my dreams.   I don't want much out of life.  I don't care if I'm poor for the rest of my days and work a mediocre job.   All I want is this: to love and be loved.  I dream of having a family of my own and my fear is that I'll never get it.  Or - worse...that I'll get it and find some way to be miserable or screw it all up.  I just want to know the outcome of it all.  I want to know His plans for me.  I want to know what the Lord has in store in the days, months, and years to come.  Not knowing is so difficult sometimes.  I can wait.  I'm happy where I am.  I am satisfied.   I'm just curious.  So very curious as to what the future holds.   I guess I'll just have to settle for not knowing and trusting that He knows what He's doing.   So... I wait and I wonder and I hope that one day my dreams will come true.   And - I pray that no matter what life brings that I'll be joyful and that the good times will always outweigh the bad.