"Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt - a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world. Insecurity is associated with chronic self-consciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships. The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate." Joseph Nowinski
"I want some soul-deep security drawn from a source that never runs dry and never disparages us for requiring it. We need a place we can go when, as much as we loathe it, we are needy and hysterical. I don't know about you, but I need someone who will love me when I hate myself. And yes, someone who will love me again and again until I kiss this terrestrial sod goodbye." Beth Moore
I believe for the most part...EVERYONE...is insecure about something. Or - has been at one time or another. They don't have to be big issues...insecurities can be small too. I just refuse to believe I'm the only one that struggles with this from time to time! What brings this up? Well...I was at Lifeway with a friend recently because he needed some counselling material and while we were there I decided to let him do his thing and I'd just look around. So I found a book I thought would be interesting. And I figured it's definitely something I could pass along to some girlfriends of mine. :o) So...I made the purchase and I'm SO glad that I did!! The book I'm reading is called So long, Insecurity! and it's written by Beth Moore. I'm only 7 chapters into it and I've already read some pretty amazing stuff. Beth's heart is for women but...a lot of this stuff applies to men as well. Whenever I read something that I think is absolutely amazing I email a couple of friends of mine. One is a woman...and one is a man. I believe that the material I'm sending applies to both of them. I wouldn't say the whole book applies to men. Not at all. But...there just so happens to be some pretty amazing stuff that would probably rock their world if they read it. And - in the process they might just learn to understand women a little more. Everyone's insecurites are different. What you are insecure about might not be what I'm insecure about. That's just the way it is. BUT - that doesn't mean this book wouldn't help you as well. She says that we're going to get to the "root" of where our insecurities are coming from. I already have a pretty good idea but...we'll see. I think it's important to find out the "why". How are we going to fix it if we don't know where it all began?! I'm going to get a little personal for a second. I hope you don't mind. :o) A lot of my insecurites lie within my relationships. It's not really anyone's fault. That's just the way it's been for me. It's also not fair to the person that I'm...hmm...well...attaching to. I say attach because there's usually one person in my life that I will get a little "clingy" with. No one has really ever called me out on it...until a few months ago. Since this person has been in my life I've really learned a lot about myself. Basically because he calls me out on my crap. I'm very thankful for that, actually. Everyone needs someone in their life who will call them out if necessary. Especially if we don't realize what we're doing. Which...I totally didn't. I knew I was what I called "territorial" with my friends but that's it. So, I believe God placed this man in my life to teach me a few things. To teach me to let go. To teach me to love differently. To teach me to be less "intense". AND - to teach me to give people their space. Not everyone requires a whole lot of personal space...but some people do and I have to respect that. :o) So, I'm learning. I'm a work in progress and that's okay with me. I'm learning to do the hard things. It's not always going to be easy...but it's not supposed to be now is it?! Life isn't easy. But - it can be an amazing journey if you allow it to be. If you allow the Lord to use to the people that He placed in your life to teach you and to love you. This means letting them love you THEIR WAY! Not everyone will love the way you want or expect them to. We're all wired differently. The way I show my love for people isn't necessarily going to be the same way that you do. And - THAT'S OKAY! As long as we're loving like Christ has called us to love then that's really all that matters. Don't you agree?! Not everyone makes themselves as "available" as we'd like. It's just the way some people are. That doesn't mean they don't love us. It just means they love us a little differently. Love also requires sacrifice. But - that's another topic for another day.
I'm really excited about what God is doing in my life right now! It's actually kind of amazing. But - I shouldn't be surprised by that! I serve an AMAZING God!
I'm going to post some stuff from Beth's book below. Enjoy! And - thanks for reading!!! :o)
*We ALL have insecurities. They piggyback on the vulnerability inherent in our humanity. The question is whether or not our insecurities are substantial enough to hurt, limit, or even distract us from profound effectiveness or fulfillment of purpose. Are they cheating us of the powerful and abundant life Jesus flagrantly promised? Do they nip at our heels all the way from the driveway to the workplace? Scripture claims that believers in Christ are enormously gifted people. Are our insecurities snuffing the Spirit until our gifts, for all practical purposes, are largely unproductive or, at the very least, tentative?
*We who are in Christ are never hopeless, never without recourse or divine help, even when our bodies are weak.
*Insecurity can result from a broken attachment of any kind, even one that seems relatively minor to others. It if translated as something huge to your heart, it is huge to God on your behalf. Before we move on, remember to always think broadly when you're trying to analyze losses and their links to your insecurity. Even the loss of face or respect through some kind of public shame can have an immense impact. Wondering if everybody hates you takes no small toll on your soul.
*If you know Jesus Christ personally, He has chosen you, too, and has appointed you to accomplish something good. Something that matters. Somethng prepared for you before time began (Ephesians 2:10). Something meant to have a serious impact within your sphere of influence.
Perhaps, like me, somewhere deep inside you entertain the lie that you know yourself better than God knows you and that somehow you've successfully hidden something from His omniscient eye. This could be the only explanation for why He bothers with you. For those of us who tru to live in the light of Scripture, this thought process is far more subtle than outright. Roots always extend underground. Sometimes the only way we know one of these roots exist is when we see what's growing from it. If we have false assumptions like, "If God really knew me, He wouldn't like me" hidden somehwere in our core, it will feed our insecurities like a zookeeper shoveling hay to an elephant. We only know that assumption is there because something big, alive, and detructive is growing from it.
Intensity is a key factor in insecurity. A fissure in a relationship might sting one person but devastate the other. Obviously, the latter party is most likely the least secure. Insecurity is not just about how many of the qualifications you possess. It's about how much the ones you own really get to you.
*You and I are gong to have to come to a place where we stop handing people the kind of power only God should wield over us. Change will not come easy. Old habits die hard. But we can make the radical decision to rewire our security systems.
*I realized with fresh astonishment that, although we may have something unhealthy deep inside of us, those in whom Christ dwells also have something deeper. Something whole. Something so infinitely healthy that, if it would but invade the rest of us, we would be healed.
I don't know. Maybe this isn't a big revelation to you, but I am so thankful that at no time since I received Christ as Savior have I ever been a total wreck. Partial? Lord, have mercy, yes. Humiliatingly so. But total? Not on your ever-loving life. And if He resides in you, neither have you (Romans 8:9). Jesus is not unhealthy. Not codependent with us. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. This thought never grows old to me: He has no dark side. In Him is no darkness at all.
That, beloved, is our challenge. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17).
I'm really excited about what God is doing in my life right now! It's actually kind of amazing. But - I shouldn't be surprised by that! I serve an AMAZING God!
I'm going to post some stuff from Beth's book below. Enjoy! And - thanks for reading!!! :o)
*We ALL have insecurities. They piggyback on the vulnerability inherent in our humanity. The question is whether or not our insecurities are substantial enough to hurt, limit, or even distract us from profound effectiveness or fulfillment of purpose. Are they cheating us of the powerful and abundant life Jesus flagrantly promised? Do they nip at our heels all the way from the driveway to the workplace? Scripture claims that believers in Christ are enormously gifted people. Are our insecurities snuffing the Spirit until our gifts, for all practical purposes, are largely unproductive or, at the very least, tentative?
*We who are in Christ are never hopeless, never without recourse or divine help, even when our bodies are weak.
*Insecurity can result from a broken attachment of any kind, even one that seems relatively minor to others. It if translated as something huge to your heart, it is huge to God on your behalf. Before we move on, remember to always think broadly when you're trying to analyze losses and their links to your insecurity. Even the loss of face or respect through some kind of public shame can have an immense impact. Wondering if everybody hates you takes no small toll on your soul.
*If you know Jesus Christ personally, He has chosen you, too, and has appointed you to accomplish something good. Something that matters. Somethng prepared for you before time began (Ephesians 2:10). Something meant to have a serious impact within your sphere of influence.
Perhaps, like me, somewhere deep inside you entertain the lie that you know yourself better than God knows you and that somehow you've successfully hidden something from His omniscient eye. This could be the only explanation for why He bothers with you. For those of us who tru to live in the light of Scripture, this thought process is far more subtle than outright. Roots always extend underground. Sometimes the only way we know one of these roots exist is when we see what's growing from it. If we have false assumptions like, "If God really knew me, He wouldn't like me" hidden somehwere in our core, it will feed our insecurities like a zookeeper shoveling hay to an elephant. We only know that assumption is there because something big, alive, and detructive is growing from it.
Intensity is a key factor in insecurity. A fissure in a relationship might sting one person but devastate the other. Obviously, the latter party is most likely the least secure. Insecurity is not just about how many of the qualifications you possess. It's about how much the ones you own really get to you.
*You and I are gong to have to come to a place where we stop handing people the kind of power only God should wield over us. Change will not come easy. Old habits die hard. But we can make the radical decision to rewire our security systems.
*I realized with fresh astonishment that, although we may have something unhealthy deep inside of us, those in whom Christ dwells also have something deeper. Something whole. Something so infinitely healthy that, if it would but invade the rest of us, we would be healed.
I don't know. Maybe this isn't a big revelation to you, but I am so thankful that at no time since I received Christ as Savior have I ever been a total wreck. Partial? Lord, have mercy, yes. Humiliatingly so. But total? Not on your ever-loving life. And if He resides in you, neither have you (Romans 8:9). Jesus is not unhealthy. Not codependent with us. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. This thought never grows old to me: He has no dark side. In Him is no darkness at all.
That, beloved, is our challenge. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17).
PS - I would've posted more but that wouldn't be fair to Beth Moore! Go buy the book! It's completely amazing!
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