Change. I hate it...but it's completely necessary.

A friend of mine looked at my pictures the other day and made this statement:  "Jamie...you're always looking up!"  This is usually true.  I am in love with clouds.  They are absolutely beautiful to me.  Especially when the sun is peeking through...because I feel like I can see heaven.  It's just something I've always loved.  I've taken hundreds of pictures of clouds.  It's completely ridiculous.  :o)  AND - I'm a pretty positive person for the most part.  I consider myself to be funny and I love laughter.  Laughter is one of my favorite things...EVER.  I do consider it to be the best medicine.  Especially for someone that is sad or upset about something.  Laughter can almost instantly cure that.  :o)  It's completely amazing.  Anyways...so the past couple of weeks I haven't been looking up.  I've been worried and afraid of what the future has in store for me.  I haven't been trusting that the Lord will work it all out or even thought that the direction I'm going in just might be His plan for me.  I've been completely selfish in my thinking.  ME, ME, ME, ME!  At some point I stopped looking up and started listening to the things the enemy was telling me.  Like...I'm worthless and unwanted.  The reason this is happening now is because my friend doesn't care about me anymore.  He doesn't want or need me in his life.  Blah, blah, blah!  LIES!  They're all lies.  I am choosing not to listen to the enemy anymore.  I'm not worthless!  I am wanted!  I am worth it!!  I know in the end we will have a better friendship.  I know in the end this will be a good thing.  For me...for everyone.  It's sad.  Yes.  But - that's okay.  This chapter is coming to and end.  But - a new one is going to begin!!  I believe very much that it's going to be better than the last.  I'll be happier.  More independent.  Free of debt.  This just might change my life forever.  For real.  I'm a little nervous...I'm not gonna lie.  BUT - I'm excited to see what the future has in store.  This change is good.  It has to be!  :o)  So I'm looking up.  It's just what I do.  It's what comes naturally to me.  It's what I need to do.  Looking up to the beauty of God's plan.  I want to walk in His ways...even when I don't completely understand them.  He knows what's best.  I trust Him.  He's in control here.  My life...my path...I'm in His hands.  Is there a better place to be?!  I don't think so.  No way!!  He's totally got this.  He knows what He's doing!  He's cool that way.  :o)  I have a feeling that this is going to be amazing.  For real.  It has to be!  I'm trusting that it will be.  I know it will be!!!!